Okay, who put the pizza on the dog’s head?

Stop playing with the monkey!

OK, so long as I don’t have to kiss him afterwards.

Then I’ll arrange to have him welded up inside something.

Your dingle is hanging out.

I’m not that kind of a guy.

You’re lurking with intent to loiter.

Will work for ball hitch.

It’s “Lick A Dyke Day” at The Bee!

You know you’re not ready for command when you step out to give your first order and everyone tells you to “f**k yourself”.

Wednesdays are “Naked Day” at The Blessed Bee.

If you go back to being a blanket vendor now, you’ll have to use the AIDS quilt.

You didn’t tell her I was a Golden Love Goddess????

I found my handcuffs last night.

Did you eat the monkey?

Can I interest you in the Satanic special...our Prince of Darkness Gift Pack?

I was watching that sniper movie and relaxing.

I hope that when I’m dead I have better things to do than hang around a f**king séance.

I’m almost out of this box!

When I woke up, I was naked under a tree and covered with ants.

Jesus says you shouldn’t have green hair.

She was wearing so much rainbow jewelry that she looked like a color TV threw up on her.

Ham & Eggs:  A day’s work for a chicken; a lifetime commitment for a pig.

Stressed Bee!

I talked to him about the eyeballs on my knife....

Excuse me, but you’re crotch is beeping.

Good Lord! I have hay in my ears!

Get you hands off my f**king sippy cup!

She got spanked by a skunk.

You look pretty in blue, but you also look like a prison inmate.

Okay, how many times have I choked my brains out?

It makes my inner-eye cross-eyed.

If you are on fire, don’t look in the mirror...cause that’s when you REALLY panic.

That sounds like psychotic confabulation.

Be nice to me or I won’t bust your nuts.

You sat down on the one thing I came in here for...your butt!

You know, it wouldn’t be the same without the voices.

Who just licked my butt?

I’m just going to have to clean my guns and go home.

I just hope it’s not a spaceship.  I’m just not up for it.

Like I’m gonna sit around and peel elves all day!

I think my glass slipper is sliding off.

Thank God the pig came with a harness.

There’s something comforting about gnawing on hot bones.

I’m doing the peepee dance in my head.

I love nature as much as anyone.  I just don’t want to become bear poop.

I already had who I was going to imagine picked out.

I’ve got that damn purple dog under my nails.